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welcome to my journal blog! this is where i personally detail what im working on, life updates, random chatter...just hanging out and blabbering whatever i feel like blabbering about‿︵˓ ʚ♡ɞ ˓ ︵ ͜
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♡♡♡ ₍ᐢᐢ₎ [ Q&A ] ༝ ༚ ༝ ༚ ༝ ༚ ༝ ༚ ༝ ༚ ༝ ༚ ༝
1・ "what did you use for this site?"
ㅤ╰› carrd! ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧ it's super easy and convienient to use i personally recommend carrd but there are other alternative sites like rentry, neocities, etc.
2・ "what do you use to edit for your videos?"
ㅤ╰› i use davinci resolve! highly recommend it for its free version and high quality features (૭ ｡•̀ ᵕ •́｡ )૭
3・ "when's the next [ㅤㅤ]"
ㅤ╰› (っ◞‸◟ c) i inevitably get very tired;; i will try to be consistent and productive but i love, more than anything, doing creative stuff when i want to! ♡

れいか • 麗香 • reika

Reika (れいか) symbolizes flowers, petals, lovely.

₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊ "they say distance makes the heart grow fonder"
☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰୨୧☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰☰
ㅤ𓂃˖ 𝜗𝜚 JOURNAL 2026
9/23/2026
Entry Title: "theres nothing but thanks in my heart"
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as im writing it's been 4 hours since my special 2000(3000) subscriber special livestream and i want to first apologize for how long it took me to write this all up! im really bad with words and truth to be told;;;i had a meal after the stream and just as i was cleaning the dishes suddenly i started tearing up.i dont know how to comprehend the happiness i received this past week but i want to thank you so much, for everything, i hope its okay that i become a little honest right nowso many lovely things happened to me, so many kind words were delivered to me, and the support i received has become really overwhelming.i think whats so important for me right now is to truly express my gratitude for all the love ive received the past 2 years. i remember doing my fourth year anniversary and soon in just another year time i'll reach my own true fourth year anniversary! its things like that, that makes me realize how much love i will continue to have for content creation. for how much i will love expressing my creativity no matter how inconvenient or tedious things get hahaand i think all the kind words, sweet comments, and lovely compliments i received throughout these past few years have really helped make me want to move forward. everytime im so riddled with anxiety and worry, i get proven so wrong each time another person comments something really nice under my posts. its so silly! i just think 'damn... there really is no need to feel this way each time' but it cycles again, so im always reminded how grateful i am to be watched and supported by so many sweet and kind people.

when i first realized i was about to hit 2k subscribers, an old memory suddenly rushed back into my mind.it's a strange core memory that i would like to tell you ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ໒꒱i never really shied away from the fact that i used to clumsily do youtube on the same channel wayyy before i started out as 'riddlemewith' but i realized i never really explained how i got into content creation.but to be honest its a pretty long story so i'll save it for a different time... instead what i will say is that a classmate of mine who spoke english really well was a huge reason why i started content creation. this was around the time i even discovered youtube so i was completely clueless and she was really my only frame of reference to how things and even the internet worked! i never even posted videos during this time, i was just watching her edit even record in real time. and each time something went well for her, she'd tell me about her subscriber count or how a video did.i specifically remember her being really excited to hit 200 subscribers and even did a whole "road to 200!" livestream - which used to be the predecessor of the current "endurance until xx subscriber stream" type of content.this was close to a decade ago lol so the metric has obviously shifted from then, and now i have a better grasp on what types of numbers mean to people. 2000 is 10 times the amount but strangely i havent felt the same rush of excitement from when my classmate reached 200 subscribers since. it's not that i dont feel grateful, i just felt more confused than i thought i would. i dont know if im being dumb haha i just feel plainly happy, so im sorry for being a little lame.i was having thoughts where i wondered if i really did interest over a thousand people... and now, it's become twice even three times that amount. i think it's a little scary because ive never been able to gauge out how people feel about me. partly because of my airheadedness LMFAOO but also im just not as good as perceiving people. ive had polarizing reactions to myself and even the way i feel about myself is so halfhearted.i think why it's so unclear in this specific situation is because everyone subscribes for a different reason. theres no way id be able to guess even 10 much less 3000. so i feel a little lost haha its not that i particularly need an answer to move on with my life, i dont mind feeling uncertain about this. but i do feel a sense that things are 'undefined' in a certain way.at first, i thought it was a bad thing. feeling so uncertain about something that's positive by default. maybe theres something wrong with me lolbut now though, my thoughts are a little different. its true that i cant and will never be able to define what it means for 3000 people to be subscribed to me. but ive also received hundreds and hundreds of comments throughout this path, or road to 3k, and i do feel alot of love for these sweet words so much so that i worry if i even deserve them half the time. so i think its enough for me that out of 3000, i can define the hundreds with the kindest intentions and i'll just carry this until im satisfied.its because of this that often times i have so much to say but it gets all scattered i end up with nothing,,but even if i end up with nothing, i think that is also fine.because i should be a cool person that flows even when i dont have the right answers!

there was also a little worry bubbling in my head.years ago, youtube videos were undisputedly what the people around me went for. but now the gears have really shifted and streaming and making shorts/tiktoks are much more in the front and center,,,,dont get me wrong!! i dont think its a bad thing to pursue streaming or short form content! but when everyone around me is in a completely different field and i barely know anyone who post as frequently as i do in long form videos (and i dont even post often!) i just felt like maybe i was an idiot for pursuing things alone.i thought i was stupid for not following my friends advice and that i was tanking my chances by not pursuing streaming as much as i did videos. i felt so stupid seeing my friends stream and post content often while i could barely make a video a month. i wondered if other people thought i was stupid too.to be honest, even if im filled with worries i cant help being the type of person that cant ignore what i confidently like.and so in the end when i chose long form videos over what others might think was the smarter option, i felt a little weak holding my heart's hand. i was so sure that i really loved long from videos but i also ended up devoting myself into being a fool that stubbornly supported the things they like.and for awhile i settled with that weak willed thought until my most recent video;; it performed really well despite being extremely experimental and i remembered that even though my brain was malfunctioning - there was apart of me that felt relieved.even though im fully aware that my next video may not do as well, im happy with the fact that something like this happened to me;; and that this was the result of choosing the things i like.thank you for not only supporting my video so wonderfully but also for healing something inside mei will continue to work hard and become even better than before! i dont want to waste a single drop of your support and i hope you will continue to support me (ㅅ´ ˘ `)

so before i finishing writing, i want to tell you that again; thank you for being there for me. whether you were there for when i was at 200 or 2000 or even beyond, thank you from the bottom of my heart. i may be lame, clumsy, and a little bit of a loser at times but i hope you will continue to accept me as i am from now until foreverthank you mireis, for 3000 subscribers, you are really the best ever♡ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ౨ৎ ‧₊ .ᐟ

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c /づ づ♡ㅤ(♡⊂ )oㅤㅤㅤㅤ」directed by: reika
written by: cute friends!prod team: dusty pink bunnies
release date: april 25 2222
languages: japanese & englishㅤ୨୧‿‿‿୨୧‿‿‿୨୧‿‿‿୨୧
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············································◻fact of the day!◻
૮꒰ ˶- ༝ -˶꒱ა ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 did you know~
that bunnies sleep 6 to 8 hours each day? how cute!ウサギは毎日6時間から8時間眠るって知ってた？ なんてかわいい！
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(⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝) ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ ༉‧₊˚.
✩ site last updated : 10/18/2024
ㅤㅤㅤ୨ৎ please expect updates ㅤㅤㅤonce or twice a month! ♡ɞ

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